Solidarity is for White Women

A lot of feminism never seems to resonate with women of color because it is defined by the white middle class experience. 

*all names can be clicked for links

so, if i had to unpack the White Female Privilege, it would look something like this (and i’m citing and paraphrasing heavily from Alienation, Peggy McIntosh, Mary Dee Wenniger, Nsenga Burton, and ballgame, and this list isn’t exhaustive):

• can benefit from their association with white men as a wife, daughter, sibling, and mother.
• have all their faults and flaws into perfect imperfections.
• easily buy posters, post-cards, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys and children’s magazines featuring women like them.
• can swear, or dress in second-hand clothes, or not answer any communications without having people attribute these choices to the bad morals, the poverty, or the illiteracy of their race.
• when told about our national language or about “civilization,” they are shown the people of their color made it what it was.
• can turn on the television, open a newspaper, or go online and see people of their race widely represented.
• can remain oblivious of the language and of persons of color who constitute the world’s majority without feeling in their culture any penalty.
• are feel free to exhibit a wide range of emotions, from tears to genuine belly laughter, without being told to shut up or being stereotyped (loud black woman, strong black woman)
• can use the “sheer fear of tears” to their advantage. (Sarah Jaffe calls this “White Lady Tears.”)
• are not compelled by the rules of their gender to wear emotional armor in interactions with most people.
• are allowed to be vulnerable, playful, and “soft” without calling their worthiness as a member of their race being called into question.
• are seen as the embodiments of value and purity and, due to their phenotypes (especially if it’s close(r) to the blonde-and-blue-eyed ideal), be considered worthy of protection—including having nations go to war over this purity and piety–and instantly become the objects of universal desire.
• they are seen as the default and the ideal embodiment of physical beauty and sexual attractiveness.  This idea(l) is replicated, despite the efforts of visual diversity, in all form of media, from paintings to plays to porn.  *sourced from racialicious

when you're a woman of color, your status is always first dictated by race. you don't describe someone as "woman black" she's a "black woman." It kills me because whenever I disagree with any feminist because of a perspective derived from a set of experiences shaped by perceived blackness, I'm automatically labeled exclusionary or divisive. women of color have fundamentally different struggles than white women based on skin privilege alone. woman of color see, feel and experience cultural differences a white woman can easily overlook and ignore. for example, I've competed in cheerleading my entire life kindergarten through college, and I've been on a plethora of teams throughout the years; despite sharing a passion for cheerleading with my teammates, I haven't ever had a "best friend" on a team other than when I cheered for Wolfpack which was comprised almost entirely of minorities. if i examine my friendships even farther in a racial context, all of my best friends during my formative years and in the present day are women of color or gay men (who, like me, have a double minority status). that's not to say that i don't befriend white people. i grew up in a predominantly white setting. i have plenty of white friends that i adore, but it's easier to relate to those whom you share culture, have comparable life experiences, and can identify with. naturally, a more close relationship develops when you can connect with someone and don't have to constantly encourage consciousness. (*I do have one white friend who fully understands my perspectives, Kati Kouklis, but she grew up in a community densely populated by minorities). we cannot empower women as a whole without considering those marginalized by race and class because that is how we are largely identified.

Women are not a monolith and vagina does not tie us all to the same set of experiences across the board. Someone needs to recognize this fallacy if solidarity is the goal. 

aside from that, nobody will ever convince me a black man has more privilege in society than a white woman. Have any "new wave" feminist ever read To Kill A Mockingbird? I'll never forget the outraged expressed at me for defending Kobe Bryant when he was accused of raping a white woman that admitted to lying to police, was actively seeking fame, and a day before he was scheduled for shoulder surgery. As someone who has personally been victimized by gender based violence and typically exercises deductive reasoning, the facts were simply not in the woman's favor. My favorite football team is the Pittsburg Steelers and I will readily admit my disdain and personal contempt for quarterback Ben Roethlisberger because I do believe he is a rapist based on factual evidence and eye-witness accounts. I'm not perpetuating misogyny or defending Kobe for any reason other than the evidence not being able to corroborate the woman's claims. It really takes me there that Kobe was brought to trial and had to go as far as changing his jersey number to escape the portrayal and stigmas of a rapist while Big Ben suffers from the occasional joke at his expense, but that's white privilege in effect. All exemplified through examining the victims and perpetrators, nature in which accusations were handled, and how the events unfolded, but i digress. my point is that it's not my refusing to stand in solidarity but the woman's false accusations that do a disservice to rape victims. white woman identify with the rape victim more than they do kobe, as does the majority of society; because the rape victim was a helpless white woman and Kobe a threatening black man, he was obviously guilty.

it's unrealistic to implement white women's feminism on any minority community when the structural dynamic and gender roles have an entirely different history and construct. it is no different from imperialism; hegemony rings the same tune regardless of the instrument. in order to burst through the glass ceiling, the movement's ethnocentrism needs to be addressed. We cannot uplift woman holistically if we don't acknowledge that empowerment, beauty, sexuality, and employment are relative to experiences. let women of color speak and dictate all that surrounds their womanhood. while white women may be able to empathize with the minority struggle, they cannot ever fully conceptualize or identify with it based on white privilege. Don't you dare tell me I should be offended at the misogyny in rap videos and refrain from twerking.Who the fuck are you to encourage Middle-Eastern women to abandon the Hijab? we are not all oppressed in the same way; therefore we cannot all be liberated in the same way even though we share biological commonalities and have same assigned gender.

we don't need feminist leadership; we need community

Feminism isn't inclusive, but it can be. during my semester of Feminism and Social Action my professor, Megan Seely, did a fantastic job of remaining inclusive. I commend her ability to capture how feminism can embody the oppressor & her emphasis in acknowledging privilege. Listening to Sojourner Truth's "aint i a woman" inspired and empowered me. Her curriculum enabled me to explore my thoughts; it was in that class that I became completely enamored with bell hooks, whose writings helped me understand my place in the movement and allowed me to reconcile with and trust myself after the dating violence i experienced. we need more women like bell hooks and Megan Seely, women who fully commit to intersectional feminist scholarship.

& i leave you with one of the most powerful & influential speeches thus far in my education: